The Ugly Duckling Report
The Weird Web Summit's Stance on Web Archives
A recent development in the world of web archivists: certain experts have deemed web archives of nonexistent newspapers as "utterly pointless" and "a waste of time". When Ugly Duckling reporter Typo approached one such expert, Dr. Johan Bridges, for further commentary, he received a dirty look and a statement of "why are you interviewing me?" No further comments were able to be procured. Typo remarks on leaving the Weird Web Summit (WWS) feeling dejected, saying, "They didn't need to be so mean to me".
As the Editor-in-Chief here at the Ugly Duckling Report, I suppose it's all par for the course. I mean, there will never need to be an archive for our work here at Ugly Duckling, or, for that matter, Marquee Presses if last week's readership numbers (10 whole readers!) have anything to say about it. Plus, who even thinks that newfangled web thing will even last? Me personally, I give that thing a month, maybe three, before it dies. - Melon Man
Fin.
"Newfangled Web Thing" to receive over $2 million in funding
The ever-so-generous Man McMan Foundation for the Arts (MMFA) has decided to grace the humble developers and founders behind the "newfangled web thing" with just under $2 million in funding. The head of the MMFA, Brian McMan, stated that his one stipulation is that the Weird Web Summit (WWS) to be a stepping stone for, "my very own worldwide domination".
This reporter feels it imperative to mention that while issuing this statement Mr. McMan was quietly cackling in what some may describe as a somewhat "evil" manner. - Marker
When questioned about Mr. McMan's behavior regarding their funding, the developers of the WWS had one unified statement to give, that being "Okay, so what?". However, one member of the group, Martin Maxwell, did have something more elaborative to say. Citing the MMFA's donation as incredibly helpful to the WWS's cause, Maxwell stated that, at least to him, it does not matter to the organization where or from whom money came from, only that it is properly put to use.
Continued on page 2.
Possible Web Archive For UDR?
A new project proposal has just hit the desks of executives at Ugly Duckling, and it's one that all 10 of our readers have been clamoring for: a possible website for the Ugly Duckling Report.
Now, what would a full website/archive entail for this publication?
First, you could expect to see the latest editions of UDR the instant they're off the presses (after first being scanned, then translated into a halfway decent reading format by our talented software engineer, Rabbit)
Second, if you had a memebership in our publication, you could go back to old papers with the mere click of a button. For example, did you miss out on the funnies last week? Just check our website, and it's all right there!
To summarize, it would be a net positive to this publication to receive a web archive, but alas, the proposition may have fallen upon deaf ears.
The Editor-in-Chief of UDR is unfortunately not the biggest fan of the web. In fact, when asked to provide his opinion on the archive, the chief ranted for 1 hour and 32 minutes on how this newfangled web thing was ruining today's youth by providing them with access to horrible depravity. Needless to say, not a great start to a web-based project. However, the "frontline" remains optimistic! For you, our dear readers, we will try our best to petition Melon Man to budge.
Fin.
Slow News Day today
Unfortunately, we (the "frontline" team) couldn't find anything else that might have been interesting to our reader base (actually, more like we didn't want to - Rabbit). So, instead, I suggested to the bigwigs that we do a meet-the-team column. Suprisingly, they agreed! Plus, they didn't stipulate where we should put that, so I'm putting it on the second page. What are they going to do, stop me? (They might...)
Meet the "frontline"!
- Janky: Senior Editor
- Rabbit: Junior Editor/Software Engineer
- Basis: Junior Editor/Assistant Reporter
- Marker: Reporter
- Typo: Reporter
Fin.